My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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