You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
