Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize