it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
