Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
