You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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