my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize