Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
