Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
