i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I am one with the molecules
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize