i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
