"it" just moved
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
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she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
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