ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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