It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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