So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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