If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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