this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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