at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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