For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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