She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Randomize
