I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize