If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
