And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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