she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
