please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
