Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I need to calm my uterus...
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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