I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
