No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
