What a fucking waste of an outfit
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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