im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
