yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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