You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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