Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
