I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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