So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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