I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
