his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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