the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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