Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
