All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
