Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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