Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
