Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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