Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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