She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize