Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I need water and some morals
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
