are you so shy because you have an std?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
