Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
