She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize