Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
