who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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