I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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