I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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