You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
cat food counts as protein by the way
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
