he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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