He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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