: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i think i have two assholes
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Randomize
