yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
