I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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